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Still alive

Up way too late...the bf is out of town as of a couple hours ago and I don't want to relinquish suddenly available but dwindling "me-time" to something as banal and pedestrian as "sleep".

Of late, I have had what many have- full workdays and a man to come home to.
Sounds good, and financially things are looking up due to some windfalls in shiftwork.
I like having someone to come home to, in general.

But there is always something to do. Even when there is *not* officially "something to do", I am expected to be doing the nothing that I am doing *with* the bf.

I know this is the way that it is. There is no changing it. We have been together now for 13 years and certain patterns are what they are.
If he is watching TV, he wants me there watching with him.
If he has to run to the store, *we* run to the store (or I put up with the hurt bf routine...his version of "wounded lamb".)

There are certainly worse problems to have, and in general, I like spending time with him, and more importantly and amazingly after all this time, I still *like* him.

Until the last few weeks, this has not been a huge problem, because there was some time, somewhere, that I wasn't working when he was, and vice versa. It still wasn't a ton, so by the time I got some house errands and other business shite done, there wasn't much time for computer time, so anything difficult to navigate from my iPhone just didn't get done.

Now comes a turning point, however. I am about to enter the Vast "Me-time Wasteland". I have, including Sundays, 6 days off in the entire month of June. 5 of those are shared by the bf. No time to recharge on fandom and get my errands etc done. July is not looking much better.

I may go a little batshit, guys.



( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 29th, 2010 08:07 am (UTC)

Um, sorry about that. Not much help, am I? But damn! I've missed you!

ETA: All I can think is that I couldn't do it -- I could never sustain a relationship that didn't leave room for some measure of solitude. That alone would burn me out. Nor could I handle any relationship where my needs (such as the need to spend time on my own interests) were automatically placed second to the other person's.

You have to go on his errands with him, but you have to do your own errands when he's not around? Eep. I hope he really is worth it.

Edited at 2010-05-29 06:33 pm (UTC)
May. 29th, 2010 01:41 pm (UTC)
"Run longer. Sleep less."

No, really...I got nothin.

Oct. 17th, 2010 05:22 am (UTC)
I don't know why I never realized you had a LJ before. You said you did in one of your emails. I spend most of my computer time on LJ.

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )